Review: Zombie Death Extreme: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, by Karina Fabian

Zombie media I actually like. Who knew?

A while back, I had been involved in an online conference. I ran a workshop on fight scenes, and ran a discussion on creating a villain. During the course of that latter chat, I mentioned that it helped if the villain had the brain. Mindless, shambling zombies were not really that much fun, as villains go…

Then I remembered that one of the people in the chat was Karina Fabian … who had written – surprise – a book about a Zombie Exterminator.

Within two minutes, I heard an email click. I had just received an e-copy of Karina Fabian's Zombie Death Extreme: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

When I shoot from the lip, I have no idea what'll happen.

The story

Zombie Death Extreme takes place in the 2040s, several decades after the zombie outbreaks started. There are no zombie apocalypses here. It never happened. However, the undead can be annoying, so exterminators have to be called in -- exterminators with chainsaws. Zombies are attracted to certain strong smells, and they don’t like standard household cleaners.... don’t ask.

Neeta Lyffe, a second-generation exterminator (motto: "I want to be buried like my mother, with my head cradled in my arms") is sued after an extermination call became a matter of massive property damage. Now, in order to generate income, she’s agreed to do the most terrifying thing in her life … host a reality show.

Yes, you read that right. In the reality show Zombie Death Extreme, Neeta is stuck with a handful of exterminator wannabes, training them to re-kill the occasional nests of undead that threaten LA (then again, if parts of LA were turned into shambling mindless hordes, would anyone notice?).

Also included: re-grief training … for when you have to mourn for loved ones a second time, when they come back; and flash cards to tell the difference between a stroke victim, a drunk, and a zombie.

You can probably guess, this has a sense of humor, unlike most zombie films (“We throw the grenades on the count of 3. 1, 2, 3.” Second person shouts “Five,” and throws the grenade ... sorry, Monty Python joke.).

In short, it's one part satire, one part action, and all parts fun.

The characters

The cast looks like it should be stocked with the standard cliches: an ex-marine, a farm boy with a stutter, an African-American woman from an urban environment, an Afghan émigré whose first language isn’t English (he speaks it perfectly well, but the producers want him so speak more like Hasan from a Bugs Bunny Cartoon).

The Producer of the show is the standard two-dimension cardboard cutout, which means he's drawn very accurately — however, he’s never had to negotiate with someone who carries a chainsaw on a daily basis, including the occasional brainstorming session for the show.

All of the characters are vivid and brightly drawn ... and heavily mocked, in some cases. Everything you have ever hated about reality television is skewered ruthlessly, and wonderfully.

The world

Possibly one of the best parts of this book (and there are plenty to choose from), use the running excerpts from a documentary on the rise of zombies, detailing a somewhat funny look on the matter, down to and including Darwin Award winners who tried to play tag with a zombie. That was fun, and does a great job drawing the world.

The politics

None. Except that Hollywood is populated with idiots and fools.

Okay, it is libertarian in the same was Ghostbusters is. When zombies are a pain and causing havoc, call in the small business to fix the problem.

Content warning

Zombies, decapitation, and cannibalism-- and that's just on the first page.

Who is it for?

Anyone who enjoys lampooning the horror genre or reality television.

Why read it?

It's funny as heck, and better than most of the zombie genre.