Think of this statement as opening the door to understanding to a generation that's been taught that they are the be-all and end-all of everything, so special that the universe revolves around each and every one of them, but the universe has yet to beat reality into them.
Forgiveness can be the start of understanding and acceptance and that no matter how much you whine, your parents and grandparents suffered greatly; more than you can imagine.
My father and grandfather were assholes, but good at it. Mom and Grandmother were saints for putting up with them. I keep thinking I 'should' forgive my father, but 55 years of emotional and physical abuse is difficult to let go of. I did my duty but honestly it was mostly to protect Mom. I'm still in contact with his caregivers, and I monitor his finances, but it's a trial being reminded of all the times he could have been decent, and other than about a handful, just chose not to do so. Best I can do most of the time is indifference.
I guess, nothing to forgive, because understanding, and excusing isn't forgiveness. You're just stuck with forgiving your grandma. Now that's a corker.
Thank you. I never posted the end of that story. I'll have to edit it.
As for her ... eh. Do you need to forgive if you just don't care? Perhaps she gave offense, and plenty of it, but looking back, I'm not sure if I care about her one way or another. I don't even think I have the energy to hold a grudge. Maybe when the Irish Alzheimer's kicks in, and grudges are all I remember.
Damn, Declan, you have a family history as fracked up as mine!
If you go back far enough, doesn't everybody?
And sometimes they don't do their best with what they have. That's when forgiveness is needed.
As witness -- are the people talking about forgiving their parents doing their best with what they have? Is that not all anybody can ever ask?
I wish I had been as good a father has mine has been and why my mother still loves me has been a miracle for decades now.
How about some of these people keep their problems to themselves?
"What is there to forgive?"
Think of this statement as opening the door to understanding to a generation that's been taught that they are the be-all and end-all of everything, so special that the universe revolves around each and every one of them, but the universe has yet to beat reality into them.
Forgiveness can be the start of understanding and acceptance and that no matter how much you whine, your parents and grandparents suffered greatly; more than you can imagine.
How does the Lord stand us?
My father and grandfather were assholes, but good at it. Mom and Grandmother were saints for putting up with them. I keep thinking I 'should' forgive my father, but 55 years of emotional and physical abuse is difficult to let go of. I did my duty but honestly it was mostly to protect Mom. I'm still in contact with his caregivers, and I monitor his finances, but it's a trial being reminded of all the times he could have been decent, and other than about a handful, just chose not to do so. Best I can do most of the time is indifference.
I guess, nothing to forgive, because understanding, and excusing isn't forgiveness. You're just stuck with forgiving your grandma. Now that's a corker.
Thank you. I never posted the end of that story. I'll have to edit it.
As for her ... eh. Do you need to forgive if you just don't care? Perhaps she gave offense, and plenty of it, but looking back, I'm not sure if I care about her one way or another. I don't even think I have the energy to hold a grudge. Maybe when the Irish Alzheimer's kicks in, and grudges are all I remember.
Not all parents did the best they could. Some put in a half-hearted effort, inconsistently, and only did their best during custody battles.