On Nuking Iran
Epic Fury
I’ve been looking at a lot of annoying “analysis” for Operation Epic Fury, and that’s a stretch.
So, a few thoughts on the Islamic Republic of Iran, and sending all of the Mullahs straight to Hell.
My biases
Keep in mind, this comes from the point of view of a Catholic New Yorker who got a front row seat to 9/11. My university campus is the highest point in Queens, so I could see what had been the skyline —it was replaced with clouds of debris that looked like storm clouds had been at ground level.
My first thought was to start dropping nukes. “Hey, Kabul. At midnight, look west. You will see the sun rise at midnight. Give us every member of Al-Qaeda, or the sun will move closer.”
Back then, I think we could have gotten away with it. And I think the only thing the Crusades did wrong was to to straight for Jerusalem. We should have gone down Spain, hit north Africa, and then rampage across North Africa, walking back the Jihad until we buried it back in Hell.
So, I am intemperate to start with.
No new wars
So those are my biases. What’s the biggest argument against Operation Epic Fury?
“Trump said he would make no new wars.”
Yeah. I heard that complaint during Midnight Hammer, when he bombed Iran in June (or was it July?), and when he took Maduro, and when Trump whacked Soleimani, and when he put a hit out on a Mexican Cartel boss.
This time, the complaints came from the same people who declared the war over, and the United States lost, about five times before the operation was five days old.
But I’m a historian. Iran has declared war on the United States for my entire life. And my older sister’s entire life. Iran has killed approximately a thousand Americans since their little revolution, and those are just the ones we know of. They killed a lot of Marines in Beirut, and they killed a lot of soldiers in Iraq.
I’m just wondering why we put up with idiots who declare war on us without issuing much of a response. This Osama bin Laden asshole did the same thing, and he festered for over a decade.
I’m sure we can go round and round about “Well, it’s just a response to Western actions,” and we can go back to to the seventh century if we want. Feel free to do that on someone else’s substack.
What’s my point? My point is that Trump isn’t starting a new war. He’s wrapping up an old war that was declared on us decades ago, but no one ever took it seriously. And there were excuses for not fighting them. First it was the Cold War. And then Clinton ignored every threat. And then GWOT happened, and no one thought “We should fight wars to win.”
But this is a country that put a hit out on Salmon Rushdi for four decades, and Rushdi has outlived every Ayatollah to date. This should have been done a while ago.
Apparently, Trump has given interviews where he has discussed taking out Iran since 1980.
This isn’t a new war. This is just unfinished business, almost five decades in the making.
“Israel made us do it”
I don’t quite understand this argument. Nor do I understand where some of the stupidity has come from on this topic. Sure, the left loves Jihadis, and so their antisemitism has been showing.
But Israel made us blow up Iran?
Have we met people that can make Trump do anything he doesn’t want to?
Frankly, when Iran boasts to the United States that “Operation Midnight Hammer didn’t get our uranium! We have enough for 11 nukes!” I would argue that Iran made us do it by poking us with a nuclear stick.
Seriously, who in Iran thought that was a good idea? If it turns out that Iran doesn’t have any uranium left after Midnight Hammer, then that’s their own damn fault.
As for Israel…
Let’s go back to the start. Do you know why the United States support Israel?
Don’t even get me started about evangelicals and their really odd apocalyptic beliefs about needing a nation state called Israel in that location. I’m Catholic, it’s not on our bingo card. I don’t even think it was an American phenomenon until 1967. I wasn’t really aware of it until after 9/11.
And I don’t think Evangelicals have anything to do with LBJ or Nixon backing Israel during Six Day and Yom Kippur.
So, I ask again:
Why does the United States support Israel?
To quote the author Herman Wouk:1 Because Israel has had all the right enemies.
The Ottoman Empire backed the Kaiser in World War I. Oops. Bad choice there.
In World War II, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, Hajj Amin al-Husseini, backed Hitler, and put together Muslim SS units. He was best friends with Eichman.
And after the war, that influence just didn’t go away. The Mufti was around for years after. No one touched him for backing Hitler. He stayed in Paris—just like Khameni, come to think of it—until the French shipped him over to Egypt. He died in 1974 of old age. Thanks to the Mufti, you may have had as many Nazis go to the Middle East as they ever did to Latin America.
And yes, the influence lasted into the 21st century.
The Mufti’s nephew was Yassir Arafat.
One of the Mufti’s adherents was the uncle to Saddam Hussein.
The Baathists in Syria used to have a stylized Swastika for a banner.
After World War II, the Middle East chose poorly in the Cold War, and aligned with the Soviet Union, in an arrangement I think the Soviets occasionally regretted, especially in 1967 and 1973.
The Arab world hates Israelis and they’ve sided with our enemies every time. So we backed Israel.
Durr, but what about the suffering of the Palestinians?
Do I care about the people now referred to as “the Palestinians”? No, I do not. Why should I? Their fellow Muslims don’t care. The “Palestinians” are technically refugees, created in 1947. The people who resided in the British “Palestinian mandate” were encouraged to get out of the way of every Muslim nation so they could “drive the Jews into the sea.” Plans didn’t work out the way everyone thought, and the former residents became permanent tenants of refugee camps. It’s simply amazing how few Arab countries want to house these bastards. Because they would cause the same level of havoc in their countries.
If Arab countries don’t care, I don’t see why I should either. And if you want to say “Because you’re Catholic,” I will reply that Catholicism is not a suicide pact. In fact, Catholicism frowns on suicide, way more than Canada’s healthcare system.2
I will again refer you to the Mufti’s nephew, Yassir Arafat. And the bestseller in the Middle East is Mein Kampf.3 I don’t care.
I have issues with referring to the Christians in Gaza as “Palestinians.” Again, that’s a British designation. Before that they were citizens of the Ottoman empire. I would be happy to get every Christian out of the Middle East. I hear Arizona is nice. But everyone else? Don’t care.
So, yeah. The United States works with Israel because Israel tends to blow up people who hate us. Israel, after all, is only the little Satan. The United States is the Great Satan. Israel buys stuff from us, they give us intelligence we use, and they occasionally whack people we want whacked.
Do we put up with crap from Israel? Sure. We also put up with crap from people who are literally our allies.
Yeah, funny thing: the last time I checked, we are not allies with Israel. Though I note that they have been more help on Iranian nukes than any of our actual allies have been for the past 25 years.4 If we do end up with peace in the Middle East somehow, I expect that Israel and the United States will have very little to say to each other. There wouldn’t be a need for one nation to talk to the other.
There is an unverified statement by Bibi Netanyahu that “Once we squeeze all we can out of the United States, it can dry up and blow away.” I would argue that it’s accurate, because once Israel no longer needs the United States, I don’t think the United States would need Israel either. Frankly, on a purely pragmatic level, the US relationship with Israel is one of utility. Then again, isn’t every relationship between nations? I’m sure most world leaders for the past 30 years would say that about us. I know have have less and less interest in dealing with world leaders.
Though right now, I think I’d rather have an interaction with a country that acknowledges it needs us, than with put up with countries that need us, while they pretend they’re morally superior to us.5
So, as for “Israel dragged us into war with Iran,” see above, where Iran bragged about having enough for nukes. So I’m going to blame Iran for trying that particular gambit.6
But what about China?
Another argument is that we should focus on China.
At which point the response is: one thing can serve multiple purposes.
Guess how much oil Venezuela and Iran provided China? Over 20% of China’s intake.
So, we’re already taking apart China by taking apart Iran.
Hell, we’re technically taking apart Russia while we’re at it. All of Iran’s drones had been going to Russia’s Ukraine front. I kinda wonder how much more Russia can take without Iran backing them up.
But it’s amazing how much many birds one can drop with one stone, in the world of international politics. It’s almost like there’s an Axis of Evil or something.7
At this point, those still in Iran are trying to keep the Straight of Hormuz shut in a play for economic fuckery. But at this point, I wonder why? We’ve dropped most8 of the Generals in the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps. The Ayatollah they have right now might be in a coma, with one leg, and possibly gay, so that’ll go over well.
I’m not even certain who’s in charge right now.
I’m not sure Iran knows who’s in charge right now.
Now, those are the major arguments I’ve heard, the ones that don’t seem to go away.
There is the Thomas Massie crowd, who insist that Trump has no authorization for this. But Massie and his ilk didn’t seem to care as Obama dropped tons of bombs on the Middle East, overthrew at least two countries I can recall, and murdered American Citizens and hundreds of civilians in collateral damage. And last time I checked, damn near every President has pulled stuff like this. Did you know congress has not elected the US to declare war since 1945?9 So the argument seems to boil down to “It’s bad because Trump does it.” Which is… not an argument.
No clear endgame: Funny, I thought the endgame was “The bombings will continue until freedom improves.” Though I’m quite happy to turn parts of Iran into a slab of radioactive glass and go home. But I’m told there are a lot of Christians in Iran these days. Perhaps we can just indulge in a bit of gun-running and call it a day.
Massive Financial and Readiness Costs to America: Financial costs? Gas hasn’t reached that of the cost of gas under Biden. And no one gave these arguments while we just dumped money and munitions into Ukraine. Though last time I checked, I don’t think we’ve burned the amount of money in Epic Fury that we lost to Somali Fraud. $19 billion, was it? Meanwhile, I don’t recall any one of these jerks opposing the hundreds of billions to Ukraine.
International law: I’d suggest calling the international law police, but that phone would just ring the Oval Office.
What about Blowback? Iran couldn’t kill one writer for nearly 40 years. If the thousands of potential terrorists who came over the border haven’t burned down the country by now, I’m not terribly worried about them achieving much. Besides, if New York City burned tomorrow, it would just be Mamdani in action.
What about the casualties?: Again, I’m a historian. We lost more soldiers taking the Philippines in World War II than we did in the entire GWOT. I’d have liked fewer casualties, but no one asked me about how to solve the Taliban problem. Again, nukes would be involved. I’d take the current arguments seriously … if most of the people complaining about casualties right now (13) weren’t the exact same people who blew off the 13 dead at Abbey Gate in the Afghanistan pullout.
Strategic Doubts about victory: Sigh. Are these the same people who insisted that Iran had the most advanced air defense on the planet, only the year before they got bodied by a country with the GDP of Massachusetts, and the land mass of Rhode Island? Those people? Obama gave Iran pallets of cash, and they bought their military equipment from Temu.
But what about Iraq? Iran backed the insurgences in Iraq, part of the reason I’m surprised we never did this sooner. But with Iran pissing off everybody around them, I don’t think that’ll be a problem … not for us, anyway. I hear Kurds are getting in their way.
Anyway, I think I’ve addressed everything. I even looked up the last little bits of BS, just to cover my bases. No, I don’t see those last few as particularly serious arguments, especially since the United States have gone after lesser threats for even lesser reasons.
Do I think this will be another forever war?
No idea. I doubt it. Trump seems easily bored. I’d sooner expect him to say, “This is taking too long. Who do I need to nuke to wrap this up?”
If this goes to the end of April, sure, come at me.
But frankly, I’d like everyone to calm down. I think it’s a little early to declare defeat, like the Lefties have. Listening to Tom Cotton and Lindsey Graham declare victory last week was just as premature.
That’s all I have for today. But frankly? Let’s all just calm down from the perpetual rage farming.
From The Hope and The Glory, his two volume, fictionalized history of Israel.
In retrospect, I wonder if that’s why Trudeau went after Catholicism, and had dozens if not hundreds of Catholic churches burned down.
Early reviews of Mein Kampf declares that Hitler’s first victim was the German language, so I almost feel sorry for the bastard who translated it into Arabic.
My reports from GWOT are variable. But I’ve been told by veterans that they had some help working with allies, but not as much as our allies would like to pretend.
See: most of western Europe, as they get devoured by their Muslim hordes, and rely on the United States for military protection. They demand we play world police while being snobby about it.
Again, who thought that was a good idea for the negotiating team?
I’m sure a whole five people get that reference.
If not all. I’ve heard there’s one left standing.
Korea was a Police Action. Vietnam was a “military conflict.” Then Beirut, Iraq One, Iraq Two, Afghanistan—none of them were “wars.”